It was noon time and I went to Guruji at Gurgaon Sthan. Guruji was in his room and was giving Ashirwad to people standing in que. After doing Pranaam, I sat on the other side of his bed towards its tail. Guruji was half lying on his left curve and was busy talking to and blessing the people. His legs were spread in a diagonal position covering half of the bed where I was sitting.
When I glanced at Guruji’s divine face, I found him totally engrossed with the people. I got diverted towards his feet. Guruji was wearing pants and his feet attracted my attention and I started pressing them.
While doing the charan Seva, I noticed that Guruji was least concerned and aware as to what I was doing. This prompted me to seeing his feet with more details and I started having an elaborate glance over the structure and design which Devo Maheshwara had made. They were very attractive, without any bone to be seen, curvature of the beneath (shape) and the color complexion of the upper, the design of fingers, so symmetrical right from the smallest finger to the toe. When I noticed all this without any interruption, I was attracted to such an extent that I thought of kissing them.
I looked at Guruji, and finding Him absorbed in listening and talking to devotees, I attempted a soft kiss on His foot, closer to me. I looked up and found myself, un noticed. I got the courage and thought of kissing once again with a little pressure to get better satisfaction and I did it…. Wah…! He did not notice this time too ! I felt happy and thought of having a solid kiss again with full pressure, and I did that too. Wonderful.. He did not notice at all again this time… And now I could not resist myself and lost control on my emotions.. And then, I held His foot tight and applied my teeth and bite it. Guruji turned towards me with a jerk and while throwing a soft scold & abuse said, “Oye ! Kya kar raha hai ?” (O ! What are you doing ?)
So, now I got His attention and I smilingly replied, “Kuchh nahin-kuchh nahin Guruji ! Aap apna kaam karo ji”.–(No, nothing, Guruji– please carry on Sahib ji) and again I started pressing his legs, but now in a normal way. “No shararat again”.
I do not know the meaning and the purpose of what I have stated or mentioned above. It looks to be worldly and a non spiritual act. At the same time, I am made to write with all my feelings in total details. So I assume it can’t be out of place and meaningless any way.
But one thing drags me towards the words of Guruji many years ago when he just met and adopted me as His Shishya. He had said, “No sadhna, No pooja, No reading the books hence forth. When I asked as to what should I do then, He said, “You only love me and do Seva, rest I shall do”. And till this day, He has been doing all by Himself. He never let me do any act or any work. If it’s a case of my family life, He is the doer. If its a case of my business, He is the doer and if it’s a case of my spiritual life, my Seva of people or my bhakti, He is the doer. May be ! What I did, as said above is love but I don’t know .
I know only that, what I am made to know by Guruji. I am blessed. Bewqoof No. 1914, As Guruji said to me.
Think the extent of attraction which Guruji possesses. Its He who decides and chooses to be loved …and… By whom. I am not the chooser.
He is Guruji, un excisable– prostrations to thy lotus feet O’Lord. Kindly keep on showering your grace and blessings.